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[if he's being honest with himself, he's still angry. accepting, but angry. so there's no music coming out of boys' 21 today, just silence. rui is curled up on the bed, reading, and waiting for a knock he's still not sure is going to come]

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[just puts the bag down on a table instead of handing it over, because there are more important things to do right now, like park his butt like he was signaled to]

Do you understand why I'm angry?

[acknowledging that puts another drafty hole in the pit of his stomach, but he manages not to flinch]

I didn't... consider you.

Not like a person. Like a thing.

I'm not whatever you think I am.

[brings himself to blink at the ceiling for a moment]

I keep making that same mistake. I don't even notice.

You're too busy not liking yourself to think about anyone else.

...

... Hm. I shouldn't assume things about anyone just because I can't.

Because you can't what?

[glares stubbornly ahead at a wall]

I can't bring myself to come up with a reason why they don't see what I see. And then they end up hurt, and I feel like I should have warned them in advance, but I don't want to be by myself, either.

Because you don't see.

Do you think I'm too stupid to see you?

You're not stupid!

[...oh]

[yeah.

yeah.]

Oh lord in heaven, you're right.

[because that's something new]

[slumps a little, but looks at you instead of shutting down around the urge to blame himself some more]

I really am so sorry, Rui.

I know.

But for me, or yourself?

How do you mean?

Are you sorry because I hurt, or sorry because I'm angry and that hurts you?

[the fact that you have to ask...]

I'm sorry because you hurt.

[possibly you don't want to know how badly he's hurt by all of this]

All right.

[he's silent for a long moment]

We've done this before. I can't do it again, Ryuunosuke. Trust me or don't.

[well that choice seems like an easy one to make, considering the alternative, but he isn't sure how to go from there]

... I won't push you away again.

All right.

[now he just has to figure out how to be not hurt]

[looks your way, mouth pressed into a stubborn line, because how does one cheer up a person who's angry at you?

eventually he just scoots over and picks up your hand. now is not a time for hesitation!!]