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[if he's being honest with himself, he's still angry. accepting, but angry. so there's no music coming out of boys' 21 today, just silence. rui is curled up on the bed, reading, and waiting for a knock he's still not sure is going to come]

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That's a dangerous thing to say to a guy with a black hole for a stomach.

[ that's not going to stop him from groping around for the bag and another one, though ]

[there's a fair number of apples in there. when rui finishes his own he reaches back to drop the core on the nightstand]

Not feeling that hungry. So it's fine.

Can I smoke?

[ he'll try not to eat all of your apples :< ]

Mm, it's your cabin; go for it.

Some people object.

[on the upside, he does seem to relax a little after the first drag]

[ relaxing is definitely good; you seem stressed ]

I don't mind.

[so stressed. but nicotine is great. he'll go back to petting your hair and occasionally tapping his cigarette over the ashtray on the nightstand]

Thanks.

Whatever works for you.

[ he can handle headpets and this apple's being nibbled on much slower than the first one ]

Mm.

[it's not until he finishes the cigarette that he says something again, at which point most of the rest of him has finally gone boneless and relaxed]

You look tired.

[ pausing with his apple halfway to his mouth ]

So do you.

[sighs]

Ryuunosuke can be a real asshole. You?

[ makes a small noise that may be in agreement ]

Life was easier when all I had to worry about was doing my job.

Hnn.

Easier or better?

Maybe a mix of both.

[he's honestly a little surprised to hear you say that]

What happened?

[ def. not going to have a feelsplosion on you ]

I think mostly I just grew up.

[shrugs a little, still playing with your hair]

Growing up is deciding what's worth hurting for. One part, anyway.

And realizing that it's not just the big things that matter.

That too.

Doesn't sound like this is a small thing though.

It's a lot of small things all at the same time.

Mm. Sometimes that's worse.

[leans his head against yours, because he can appreciate that your day sounds shittier than his]

It's--something.

[ good this means he can kind of squirm around a little and just ruffle his fingers through your hair ]

Mm.

[sighs a little. someone definitely straightens his hair, but hairpets are good and this is turning into a proper cuddle]

Don't get bitter, though.

[ he fully approves of these cuddles ]

Bitter is for gourds and shrunken old men.

[excellent, they will become even more cuddly then]

True enough.

[ do like cuddles so he's just rolling closer and pressing his cheek to your shoulder ]

I can deal with grumpy, though.